Pig's Paradox
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Time Traveler's Pig AU! What if Wendy had found out what REALLY happened between the twins before they left the fair? What if the Time Police had listened to Blendin about being framed?... A crazy adventure for all involved!(to be continued in 'Tales of the falls')
1. Chapter 1

A Pig's Paradox

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

 **ATTENTION EVERYONE! I'll be briefly breaking my Hiatus and having a Halloween contest. I'll be posting Halloween themed stories, horror themed, or one's that end with a cliff-hanger! The story that gets the most reviews, will be the one I update on Halloween!(and maybe a few other surprises. heh. heh.)**

 **And don't forget to check out my new "Shake Up the Falls" Challenge!**

...

 **SPLASH!**

"My pants! They're shrinking!" Screamed the goth

Everyone laughed and jeered at the goths misfortune...including Dipper. "That'll do pig, That'll do." Said the now (slightly) happier boy as he petted his sisters new pig.

Yes; many who looked upon this bitter-sweet yet heartwarming/comical ending liked it a lot...But The Slenderman who watched invisibly from afar...did not.

" **Oh, surprise. Surprise. The cannon ending...how original."** Snarled Slenderman sarcastically. He then posts a flame

 **GAH! WHY DO WE BURN!?**

Which immediately spreads and burns down the entire universe! Slenderman then leaves the cast of this universe to die...and heads to another alternate gravity falls universe...

….

 **Let me guess...Mabel gets pig and Wendy gets a black eye...again!** Snarls Slenderman in irritated boredom, he then flames this universe too...

….

Slenderman snarls in frustration as he flames a 'Wacky Wizards of Wall Street' X Gravity Falls crossover universe to ashes.

 **You give them nigh-invulnerable wizard allies...you give Mabel and Dipper magic...but you keep the ending the same!? Why even make the crossover!?**

…..

" **Oh, a 'Alchemists King's' X Gravity Falls crossover!? Well, I can only assume they'll use their uber-strong alien allies or advanced elf tech to Save the pig AND Wendy!"** States Slenderman with mock drama...only to once more see the now predictable cannon ending...

 **OH, whoops! My mistake! Apparently their allies were either too busy/lazy/incompetent to change anything! And Mabel and Dipper 'convieniently' forgot to use their cannon-changing tech!...why...why bother making the crossover?! You might as well have just made two different, unrelated stories and be done with it!"** Snarls Slenderman as he once more flames another gravity fall fanfiction universe to rubble...

….

 **GAH!**

Screams Slenderman as he flames a hundred disappointing Gravity Falls universes to dust at once!

" **The pig! The black eye! The pig! The black eye! Hundreds of cannon endings as far as they eye can see! What is wrong with everyone!? If I wanted cannon I would've just stayed home and watched like a good mindless drone with no imagination!"**

"Hey frak you pal!" Shouts a voice from nearby.

Slenderman turns around to see the burnt remains of a Writer...who(somehow) survived the destruction of his universe-

"All these flames...theses PM's filled with locust and brimstone! You know, no one's pointing a gun to your head to 'like' our homes and families! Don't like!? Don't watch! If you think you can do better, do it! Stop complaining and DO it better!"

Slenderman just stares at him blankly...then(somehow) smiles. **"Hey...your right! If you want something done right, do it yourself!"**

It taps his head to the half dead man. **"Thank you for showing me the light. As a thank you...I'll make your death quick!"** Laughs Slenderman as he blows the man up...

….

 **SPLASH!**

"My pants! They're shrinking!" Screamed the goth.

Everyone laughed and jeered at the goths misfortune...including Dipper. "That'll do pig, That'll do." Said the now (slightly) happier boy as he petted his sisters new pig...

Oblivious to the invisible eldritch abomination watching them all. It rubs its hands with anticipation " **Right...now we do things my way!"** First, he sends off a bolt of lightning in a seemingly random direction-

 **GAH! MY ARM!**

Quickly he levitates toward Wendy and resumes time again. He then quickly whispers a thought into the laughing red-heads mind.

 _ **Wow, Dipper was right. Tight pants ARE overrated.**_ Wendy chuckled at this. _Yeah...he really called that one...wait a minute..._

Wendy had been dazed by the blow to her head to...but now that she thought about it...

 _He said "-_ _also that tight pants are overrated."...and then...and then something...something else..._ _What did Dipper say before that?..._ " _Wendy, I just wanted to say that, well I just wanted say that people makes mistakes, and when they do, you should forgive them...He said that right before I got hit..._

Lost in her thoughts...she obliviously began to wander around the fairground as she gathered her feelings...

" _It's almost...it's almost like Dipper KNEW what was about to happen"..._ Wendy scoffs at this thought and shakes her head. _"_ _What am I thinking!? that's crazy!"_ Suddenly the memory of a certain convenience store reared it's ugly head _...on the other hand I was attacked by ghosts earlier this summer...so maybe having a more open mind...but wait! That makes even less sense!_ Exclaims Wendy to herself as the memory of the oh-so adorable Lamby dance surfaced as well. _If Dipper knew...why didn't he stop it? I-_

I'M TELLING YOU! I WAS FRAMED!

Screamed a voice that shook every timber within a ten block radius. Wendy turns around and sees those weird guys from earlier who finally dunked Stan.

Before Wendy knew what she was doing; she was filled with the inexplicable urge to sneak up on them and eavesdrop...

"Shut it Blendin! It's bad enough that freak lightning injured Dundgren and burnt out our time-tape measures! If on top of that I go deaf from your whining; so help me I'll-

"You'll what?" Said a voice. Everyone turned around to see...a perfectly ordinary businessman.

The man straightens his tie before introducing himself "Hello there! The names **S** tanley; **S** tanley **Lenderman**. Temporal attorney at law!" Said the man as he gave his business card to Lolph. "And I'm here to be Mr. Blandin's legal representative!"

"Wait, what?...but I don't have an attorney"- "Of course you do!" Interrupted the lawyer as he snaps his fingers at him.

Suddenly Blendin's eyes glazed over... "Oh! That's right! I do have a lawyer...I guess." Stated Blendin a touch disoriented.

Lolph shook his head. "Now wait just a minute! This is highly irregular! You can't just-

"Fret not my boy. I'm completely authorized to do this- Said the lawyer as he again snaps his fingers.

Suddenly Lolph's eyes glaze over as well. "Oh...so you do...my mistake...apparently." Said Lolph awkwardly as if he wasn't quite sure he believed what he was saying...

The lawyer nodded. "Right now that that's settled...let's get down to business!" He snatches up the remains of Blendin's time tape. "Using new 'technology', I should be able to holographicaly display this devices temporal-web history-

"Wait, what!? Dude! Not cool!" Shouts a flustered Blendin.

The Lawyer held out a placating hand as he chuckled. "Relax my boy, were all guys here...tell you what? Why don't I play some music while we watch to get us in the spirit of things?"

Lolph groaned. "Is that really necessary- But it was too late; the music had started and the images was displayed for all to see...

 **Hey!**

Screamed Wendy as she's hit by a ball for the second time

 **Everytime I try to go in alone I get shut down,**

 **Locked up and held captive in the clutches of my down**

"It is possible that the forces of time naturally conspire to undo any new outcomes?" Asks Dipper out loud morbidly. "No, I just need to try again!" He shouts out in determination!

 **go back**

"Third times the charm!"

 **go forth**

"Fifth times the charm!"

 **go back**

"The twentieth time...is the twentieth time...

 **I'm sick with vertigo**

Dipper vomits into a trashcan after time-jumping too fast...

 **Weary of my ways, this days never gonna end...**

Dipper slammed his head down on the booth in frustration...

 **I wanna feel a new day**  
 **(There's gotta be more than this)**

Dipper bites yet another pen in two as he eyes his calculations...

 **I wanna see a new day  
(There's gotta be more)**

Dipper practiced several make-shift throws..

 **I wanna be a new day  
(There's gotta be more)**

Dipper measures the height of a startled Wendy...

 **I wanna live a new day with you  
(There's just gotta be more)**

"Maybe if I throw with my other hand"... Mumbles Dipper to himself.

 **Right here, right now  
Under the stars- **

"I promise you my heart." Whispered Dipper to himself as he glances into Wendy's wondrous green eyes

 **Cause it starts today!**

Dipper checked the make-shift barometer to calculate the wind speeds...

 **I wanna rise,  
I wanna touch the other side  
(It starts today!)**

"Maybe electromagnetic radiation is responsible?" Asks Dipper as he uses a make-shift bolometer...

 **I wanna soar  
I wanna reach right out for more  
(Cause it starts today!)**

Dipper bangs on the make-shift creepmeter in irritation...

 **I wanna rise,  
I wanna touch the other side  
(It starts today!)**

Dipper shoos away a nosy patron as he calculates the make-shift gravimeter...

 **I wanna soar,  
I wanna reach right out for more  
(Cause it starts today!)**

Dipper bangs his head over and over on a lamppost...

 **Today today  
Today today today  
Today**

Dipper desperately shakes the make-shift Katharometer to find something...anything to explain why he sucked at this!

 **Can't feel like I can take this day anymore  
Want to be with you Under the sky full of stars  
With a heart that wants more  
(Today)**

The make-shift hygrometer's results...were disappointing...

 **I'll memorize the rhythm no dam can hold**

Dipper checks the stopwatch. "Okay, it took 5 seconds to hit her." He calculates...

 **Done' drivin by a source cramping my soul.  
(Today)**

Dipper grits his teeth as Robbie asks Wendy out for the hundreth time!

 **Won't be like any day we have seen  
I swear I'll change everything (e-e-e-e-everything)**

"FATE CAN EAT IT!" Screams a frustrated Dipper; While nearby fair patrons looked on in concern...

 **Right here right now  
Under the stars-**

"I'd promise you my heart-" Whispers Dipper after Wendy longingly...

 **Cause it starts today!**

OW! MY EYE!

 **Today!**

OW! MY EYE!

 **Today!**

OW! MY EYE!

 **Cause it starts today!...**

Wendy just gapes in horror...she couldn't make out or hear half of what was happening on the jumbled images from this far away...but she'd seen enough to be mad! "WHAT THE BLOOD!" She screams enraged...before slapping her mouth shut and realizing what a dumb thing that was to do...

Lolph suddenly goes on alert. "Did you hear that!?" He asks. "Nope, and neither did you." States the lawyer as he snaps his fingers again. Suddenly the cops eyes glaze over and he agrees...

Wendy doesn't have time to thank her luck; she's too busy being furious! _How...how could Dipper do that to me? Have me get hit over and over again?_ Wendy can actually feel her eyes get hot with tears. _How...how could you Dipper? I thought we were friends! I thought you cared about me! Why would you-_

-"Wendy, how badly do you want that stuffed animal thing?" Said the Dipper on the hologram suddenly as the Lawyer cranked up the volume. "More than anything in the world, Dipper." Said Wendy intensely...

Wendy blinked several times uncomprehendingly...then slapped her forehead. _Yeah, that sounds about right..._ She inwardly groused irritably.

Then she starts thinking. _Wait...if Dipper was determined to do this for me...why'd he stop? Why-_

Wendy's thought process stopped dead in their tracks as the images cleared up completely...and reached their conclusion...

…...

It was a dazed, conflicted, and confused Wendy that found herself wandering away from the time police when the projector had finished it's tale...suddenly she found herself almost tripping over something.

She looks down and sees a familiar ball, she looks up to see a familiar game booth...

Wendy glares at it. "This is your fault!" She screams as she tosses the ball at it in anger-

 **CRACK! GAH! MY EYE!**

Wendy groaned as she nursed yet another black eye...she glared at the booth with rage...then contemplation... _Wait...hold the phone...How was it possible for Dipper to mess up so many times? And needing to go to crazy impossible lengths to win...I mean yeah, he's not the most athletic person...but still...somethings fishy here..._

Seeing that the Carney in charge of it was away...Wendy went over to check out the booth...within minutes she was screaming to the heavens-

 **STANFORD PINES!**

Stanford Pines; hard at work re-rigging the dunk tank to make it impossible for anyone to win again...paled at the familiar sound of an enraged woman screaming his name...and quickly made a run for it...

….

Slenderman watched this last bit with amusement; he then rips off the head of a nearby patron and begins to drink their brain through a straw. He then turns to the reader and begins to speak in a snobby, British accent. **Right, so I have this 'theory' that Stan helping Dipper out in 'Roadside Attraction' was motivated by guilt since he ruined Dipper's 'chances' and kept the secret to himself.**

He paused to take another sip of gray matter with his pinky finger extended. **I shall not quoth 117 reasons for this belief. Reason the first: This theorem seems plausible to me because-**

Suddenly he sees Wendy heading toward the twins. **Shoot! Okay, we'll talk never! The main event is happening now!** Shouts Slenderman back in his normal voice as he rips off another patrons head and begins to eat his brain like popcorn...while also making sure to whisper a few last minute thoughts into Wendy's ear...

The pines twins were chilling out by the frozen snack stand. Mabel was feeding waddles and Dipper was trying to forget today's events by burying himself into his journal.

Suddenly, Dipper sees Wendy coming through his peripherals. Despite the circumstances, Dipper smiled! It was always good to see Wendy after all!

"Hey Wendy, how are-

"I know what happened guys, Blendin, the time-tape, everything." Stated Wendy harshly.

The twins stared at her in pale uncomprehending horror. Mabel quickly put Waddles behind her back protectively as she glanced back and forth between her friend and brother concerned.

And Dipper...Dipper threw himself on his hands and knees in front of Wendy-

"I'm sorry Wendy! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry for not being strong or smart enough to keep you from getting hurt!" Screamed Dipper as all the guilt, despair, and anxiety he'd been bottling up today came gushing out like a geyser. "I'll do whatever it takes to earn your forgiveness!" He then pulls out the journal. "There's a spell here that'll make me your slave forever, I'll give it to you if we can at LEAST stay friends!" He pleads.

Mabel and Wendy looked on this display stunned. On top of Wendy's anger...she now felt uncomfortable and flustered. She groaned. "Wow..okay..Dipper...please get up." Stated Wendy awkwardly.

Dipper dose as she asks confused. "Wait...aren't you mad at me?"

Wendy groans. "I...I just don't know Dipper...on the one hand, yes I am mad that you let me get hurt seemingly a hundred times- She stopped mid-sentence. "Wait...was I hit a bunch of times...or just one time? Dose it count if I only remember one and the rest was erased because you went back to make it not happen... but then it DID happen...only in a way it didn't...but the amount of times didn't go up...I mean they sorta did...maybe, kinda, in away that they also didn't- GAH!" She cried out suddenly as this time-speaking gave her a headache. "Whatever! You know what I mean!" The two twins hastily nodded.

Then Wendy got even more flustered. "And then on the other hand...you were mainly doing it to make things right with me(it seemed like she never did check to see if he was alright afterward and make sure he knew that she didn't blame him for what happened in the original timeline)...and because I put it in your head that that stupid stuffed animal was more important then anything in the world...

Despite the situation Wendy smiled at Dipper. "It was sweet you took my teen melodrama seriously and were willing to go to such lengths to do that for me...unbelievably stupid...but sweet nonetheless."

Then she takes a deep breath. "As for choosing your sister over me"... Dipper felt his insides churn with anxiety.

Wendy sighed. "Look Dipper...if my siblings were in a similar situation...I'd probably have done the same thing...your a good brother...that's something I can admire, even respect...

Dipper felt hope rise in his heart-

"That being said...I am also pissed that you did that!" Exclaimed Wendy suddenly.

Dipper blanched in confusion. "Wait, what!?...but you just said-

Wendy groaned. "I know. I know...and I meant that...but I'm also...I kinda." Wendy let out a really annoyed growl as she pulled at her hair. "Look I'm just really confused and mad right now, okay!" She confessed exasperated.

She then turns to Mabel. "And I'm especially furious with you!" She snaps while pointing an accusatory finger at the sweatred-twin.

"Wait, what!?" Exclaims both twins confused. "Wha- Why are you mad at me?" Asked Mable perplexed.

Wendy gave her a 'are you serious look'. "You were perfectly okay with throwing me- YOUR FRIEND -under the bus for a PIG you knew for only what? A day?!"

Mabel paled...now that it was brought to her attention...that was horrible! "But- I- That is-" She stuttered, so frazzled by shame and horror by these realizations that she couldn't form a proper comeback for once.

And Wendy wasn't done yet! "And don't think I haven't figured out your little scam! How could you put your brother through that!?" She snaps.

Both twins looked at her aghast. "Scam? Wendy, what are you talking about?" Asked a confused Dipper.

It was with a heavy heart that Wendy turned to Dipper. (Quasi-)Mad at him she maybe...but he didn't deserve to be back stabbed by someone he loved!

"Dipper think about it...how could she have survived an entire month of banging her head in one spot? With no food, water, or bathroom...what was to stop her from listening on when you'd get there, bribing soos and dressing herself up bad to fool you?"

Both twins gasped! What she was saying was horrible...but neither could argue with the logic!

Dipper felt a dark pit appear in his stomach...he turned to Mabel...his sister...the one person in Gravity Falls who he always thought he could trust...

"Mabel...it's not true right?...please tell me it's not true!" He pleaded.

Mabel was in tears! "I...I don't know!" She admitted to everyone's horror. "When you put things back to normal, that never happened!...hadn't happened?...couldn't happen now?...GAH! I HATE TIME TRAVEL!" Shouted a teary Mabel...

…...

Invisible to all...Slenderman greedily gulped up Mabels succulent tears.

He then ripped off the balls of some random patrons and cooked them while skewered on kabobs...all the while sporting a 'DEATH TO DYSFUNCTIONAL SIBLING BONDS!' foam finger.

 **Hmmm...I wonder if I should tell them that it's more likely that Mabel's merely a victim of a poorly written plot-hole...and she's most likely innocent?...NAH! LET'S GIVE THIS BIOTCH SOME MUCH NEEDED CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT! HA! HA!**

Laughs Slenderman Malevolently as he leans over to whisper something into Dippers ear...

…...

 _ **How did she remember any of this at all?**_ This was the thought that rang through Dippers head...and feed the fire of his doubt...

"Wait a minute- Said Dipper in horrified realization. "How did you remember any of this? Or what happened? Or what I did? I didn't bring you with me when I last time jumped! You shouldn't have remembered anything!"

Mabel was flabberghasted! "What?...I don't...I don't know! One moment I had no waddles...the next I did and I knew everything!" She explained desperately.

"Just like that? Magically?" Stated a skeptical and furious Wendy.

"Look, I don't know! I didn't question it! I was too busy being happy about having Waddles back!"

A tearful, frightened Mabel turned to Dipper. "Dipper, please I-

"I don't want to hear it Mabel! I can't even look at you right now!" Snapped an equally tearful Dipper, the seeming betrayal of his only sibling giving him the feeling of a thousand red hot knives in his body.

He turned around to storm off. "I'm going home!" He shouts.

"Oh, your going somewhere...but it ain't home."

The three Mystery Shack gang members turned to behold Slenderman...back inside his Temporal Lawyer disguise and accompanied by Lolph, Dundgren, and Blendin.

Wendy's eye widened; she'd been so busy stewing in these numerous epiphanies...she'd completely forgotten about them!

"Lolph stepped forward. "Mabel and Dipper Pines! By Time Baby Decree; your both under arrest!"

"What? Why!?" Exclaimed Dipper.

"You stole a dangerous piece of equipment that could've destroyed the universe if used improperly just to be a cockblock. And then let an innocent man take the fall for it." Stated Slenderman flatly.

Dipper was speechless...

Wendy was not. "Wait, cockblock? What are you talking about-

"And used it to win a pig!" Interrupted Blendin. "Don't forget that!"

Slenderman gave him a weird look. "What are you talking about? They didn't steal it to do that! If anything using it nearly LOST them the pig! Get your facts straight you edjit!" Snapped Slenderman at a chastised Blendin, before pausing the world and turning to the reader.

 **If it wasn't clear; that last little tangent directed at Blendin; was a minor Bash directed at the episode 'Blendin's Game'...Right, TIME IN!**

Shouts Slenderman as the world UNpauses. He gestures to the three kids. "Right, arrest them all! They are to be punished with a 'special' Globnar of my own design!" He cackled.

"Wait, what!?" Screamed the Mystery Shack gang.

"Wait a minute!" Shouts Lolph. "I get Mabel and Dipper, but why the other girl? Far as I can tell she had nothing to do with it!"

Dundgren nodded. "Yeah, and since when do lawyers decide the punishment, and what do you mean a Globnar of you own-

"GAH! Come on guys! I'm tired! And the Chapter is already obscenely long! Just roll with it!" Shouts an annoyed Slenderman as he snaps his fingers, causing the time police to immediately fall into line to shackle and escort the three very confused kid adventurers(and one bewildered pig) into the time vortex.

Slenderman turns back to the reader one last time. **HATERS GONNA HATE!** Screamed Slenderman as he flipped off the audience before diving backward into the vortex...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **That last 'what the hell hero' comment directed at Dipper was inspired by '** **Depthsofthemind', thank you man! Appreciated it!**

 **The song is a parody of TOBYMAC's song 'Tonight'**

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**

 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

A Pig's Paradox ch. 2

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

 **...**

 ** **ENJOY THIS BONUS!****

 ** **HAPPY HALLOWEEN!****

 **…** **...**

While on the time bus. Slenderman looks through the paper. **"Huh, local animation genius Alex Hirsch reveals during BIG FEST Q & A session...that he's using Gravity Falls as a means to make fun of his sister...in retaliation for lying to him about a UFO sighting when they were kids"...**

He pauses the world and looks up to the readers. **Seriously though, he did say that. Look it up on Youtube. There are two big videos; Big Fest 2016 and Alex Hirsch Big Fest Q &A...it's on the second one.**

Slender man pauses to eat another orphan...all the while in deep thought...

 **Huh...interesting...All the Hatedom surrounding Mabel...her 'creators pet' status...Alex's seemingly jarring disconnection to all this despite his good relationship with the fanbase...could it be that it's all been deliberate? An elaborate ruse to ensure that Dipper(and by extension himself) becomes the fan-favorite(Or Alpha-Twin) amongst the fandom?...if so...WOW...Well played you Magnificent Bastard, I salute you!  
**

Slender shakes his head as he tosses the paper in a way that slits a random pedestrians throat. **Well, in any case...break times over...Let's get the story moving, shall we?**

He unpauses things and turns over to Wendy and Dipper...in the middle of an argument.

Needless to say; Wendy hadn't taken the 'Dipper wanting to stop Robbie from asking her out' revelation well...

"I wanted to give you the perfect day! I wanted you to be happy!"

"By letting me get hit?" Snapped Wendy.

"I...I wanted to stop that...from happening...I DID stop that from happening...but then-

He glared at Mabel who was still in tears.

Wendy just shakes her head. "I...I just don't know what to feel with this! What am I supposed to feel about this?...

She looks over to Dipper sadly. "You know Dipper...you claim to want to be 'grown up'...but when you do stuff like this..it just...it just proves the opposite...

Dipper was in tears now. "Wendy please...I'll do whatever it takes to make this right...if you give me a chance...I'd make you happier than anyone else could!"

Wendy sighs. "How am I supposed to believe that?"

"Right, if I may interject?" States Slenderman suddenly. "Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a huge fan of angst...but I AM a huge fan of 'cutting the knot' solution's so-

 **BANG!**

Wendy's eyes widen as a pool of blood appears on her shirt- WENDY! Screams the twins!

Lolph and Dundgren bring up their rifles...only for their eye's to glaze over...and apparently give what was happening no more mind...

Slenderman holds a knife to Dipper. "A life for a life my boy...will you do it to save her?"

Dipper doesn't even hesitate. "Do whatever you have to do..."

 **Behind this curtain there is a heart that's hurting.  
It's been taking a beating. It's starting to fall apart.**

 **And I feel like such an easy target. Dodging bullets, I'm exhausted.  
How can every moment be this hard?**

Wendy's eye's widen(her body kept in a state of semi-death by Slender's power) as Slenderman begins to slice up her friend...inject his organs with a healing cocktail..rip them out...and shove them down her throat...

 **I'm holding nothing back from you.  
Doesn't really matter what I lose.**

"You sure about this boy? It's not too late for me to put this back in, you know." Teases Slenderman as he dangles one of Dippers kidneys.

Dipper(also only alive at this point by Slendermans power) just glares. "Just save Wendy." He says while bleeding profusely everywhere...

Slender shrugs and shoves it down Wendy's throat.

 **Got a heart that's open. I'm broken and I want you to know.**

Wendy nearly gags as Dipper gives Slender permission to shove his heart down her throat

 **I don't want anything coming in between you and me.**

Dipper gives permission for his liver to be fed to Wendy...

 **it doesn't matter what I have to go through.**

Dipper gives permission for his pancreas to be fed to Wendy...

 **I'm holding nothing back, nothing back from you.**

Dipper gives permission for his spleen to be fed to Wendy...

 **I've got a list that goes on and on.  
It's overflowing with memories of everything that I've been doing wrong  
And I'll be the first to say, I've chased after so many foolish things looking for a  
way to kill the pain.**

WILL YOU AT LEAST GIVE HIM PAIN-KILLERS!? Screamed a horrified Mabel as her brother writhed in agony from the dissection.

 **Got a heart that's open. I'm broken and I want you to know.  
I don't want anything coming in between you and me.  
it doesn't matter what I have to go through.  
I'm holding nothing back, nothing back from you.**

Wendy cries as Dippers esophagus is shoved down her throat...and then used as a pump to suck out Dippers blood and puts it into her...

 **I try to do the right things.  
Why am I struggling day to day with these same old things?  
Whatever's taking your place, I'm getting out of the way.  
I'm getting out of the way.**

"Oh...puberty has not been kind to you, has it boy?" Teased Slenderman as he looked at Dippers tiny wang.

"You know, I can keep it in AND make you Stud my boy...of course that would mean Wendy dying...

WILL YOU JUST SAVE HER ALREADY!? Screamed Dipper as he tried not to choke on his own blood...

 **I don't want anything coming in between...  
I'll do what I gotta do.**

"Don't be so glum chum! You got your 'boy'hood in the mouth of a pretty, older woman...what guy doesn't dream of that?" Asks Slender as he rips out Dippers genitals and feeds them to Wendy...

Both kids just glare...

 **I'm holding nothing back, back from you.**

Finally...Wendy is healed!

 **I don't want anything coming in between you and me.**

Finally...Dipper dies...

 **it doesn't matter what I have to go through.**

Both girls hug his mangled corpse and sob...

 **I'm holding nothing back, nothing back from you...**

Slenderman gives Wendy a hankerchief, she blows into it-

 **THRUMP!**

And out pops a snot covered Dipper! "TA-DAH!" Shouts Slenderman. "For my next trick..watch me make Dippers debt to me...Disappear!"

He shouts as he brings up a monitor that has the Pines family Piedmont home on it-

 **BOOM!**

The house explodes! "TA-DAH! It's gone!" Shouts Slenderman! Everyone just gaped in horror...

"Did you just kill our parents!?" Screamed a horrified Mabel.

Slenderman rolled his eyes. "Uh...no! The payment was only for one life, I only blew up one parent...if your other parent was stupid enough to be in the 10-block explosion radius, that's their own fault! Seriously, Mabel pay attention!" He chastised.

"Your an Asshole." States Wendy flatly. Slenderman smirks. "Oh, my dear...I haven't even started yet...

He bursts into maniacal laughter that echos throughout Time and Space...

 _Prison doesn't seem all that bad now..._ Whimpers a traumatized Blendin to himself...

…...

 **TO BE CONTINUED?**

 **The song is a parody of 'Holding nothing back' by Ryan Stevenson**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	3. Chapter 3

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **AN: There, apparently has been some confusion. I am still continuing this story. I'm just continuing it in 'Tales of the falls' ;it's easier for me to keep track and organize that way.**

 **As for the rate of updating; that depends on real life, inspiration, will of my lord and savior Jesus Christ...and bribing me with 'Shake up the falls chapters.**

 **Yes, for every ONE chapter of my 'Tales of the Falls' challenge you make, I'll have THREE stories of YOUR choosing updated.**

 **...as long as they follow the requirement below:**

 **SHAKE UP THE FALLS: CHALLENGE!**

 **Primary Objective:**

 **Tired of fanfictions just copying cannon and not doing anything really different? Well, I am!**

 **So I say we do a 'deconstruction' of Dipper and Mabels 'sibling bond'! Through the following-**

 **(BEGIN FLASH-FORWARD)**

 ** _A forty-something year old Dipper enters his parents house and takes off his fast-food uniform with a sigh as he looks down at his meager paycheck._**

 ** _A forty-something Mabel (wearing a crazy sweater and surrounded by dozens of cats); looks up._**

 **" _Hey Dipping sauce! Guess what!? I made a 50 ft butterfly made of comics...which I then set ablaze! I'm still the goddess of destruction!...also the police are here again to fine us for burning stuff without a permit...also for unintended arson damage to the neighbors house"_**

 **" _Wait, what!?" Shouts Dipper just as a policeman steps out of the shadows and snatches up Dipper's paycheck._**

 **" _Ah, come on man! I worked overtime the whole week at the drive-through to earn that!" Shouts Dipper. But the Officer had already left._**

 ** _Dipper feels a drop of water on his head...the ceiling was leaking..._**

 **" _I also created a new water slide for Waddles!"_**

 ** _CRASH!_**

 ** _The ceiling gives way as a giant hog crashes down and breaks the floor; water soaking everything!_**

 ** _The cats scatter in panic; breaking various household objects as they do so._**

 ** _Mabel laughs at this. "Ah, they're cute when their crazy!" She shouts as she takes a picture of them._**

 ** _Dipper sighs as he goes to check the emergency fund...only to find it empty..._**

 **" _Hey Dipping sauce! Can we have Pizza tonight!? Duck-tective will be on!" Shouts the ever cheerful yet oblivious Mabel._**

 ** _Dipper just hangs his head...and cries..._**

 ** _(FLASH-FORWARD END)_**

 **What I just showed you was a peek into a future after Gravity falls, where Mabel no longer needs to fear growing up...because she doesn't have to! Why would she need to when she has a pushover brother who is willing to sacrifice everything: never getting married, never being independent, never having a life of his own to make her happy?!(in other words: An Enabler/Co-dependent relationship)  
**

 **You can give this vision to whoever you want: Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, Pacifica, Stan, Ford, Soos, etc- You can have it sent to them at any time in the series, or have them sent back in time, or do a Peggy Sue! And have them use this knowledge to shatter cannon!**

 **Also Bill Cipher's threat needs to be taken more seriously!(I'm talking actual full-on Armageddon preparation after his first appearance!) And they need to take Gideon seriously when he sends the creepy letters and hosts his TV show(You don't have to kill him, but the Pines Family have to at least Neutralize him...or make some kind preparation to fight him when he breaks out). EXAMPLE: Mable is forced to take Dipper more seriously and not mess with him to survive or The realization that she and her loved one's might die at the end of the summer make Wendy not so hung up on the whole 'age gap' with Dipper and goes out with him.  
**

 **Also, the hero's need to be proactive! When Gideon starts sending creepy letters and making television broadcasts, they need to take care of him(kill or neutralize; either works). All that matters is that they strike first at the first sign of trouble; And don't just have them wait around and do nothing!  
**

 **NO LEMONS, LIMES, YAOI, YURI OR INCEST PLEASE! I HATE THAT STUFF...  
**

 **Secondary objective: the following episodes can't end as they did in cannon!(especially if your doing a Crossover!) If you want to kill Wendy and have Pacifica be the rebound fine. Or you could have Wendy give Dipper a chance after saving him from ghosts...have them go on a couple dates(this can even happen off-screen if it's easier)...Wendy decides it's not going to work...and then land Pacifica on the rebound(that works too) Just do something different!(conversely, you could also just give Pacifica Tyrone and Dipper could have Wendy...just saying...everyone would be happy...)**

 **"The Inconveniencing".(it annoyed me that no one did anything with Wendy's 'stare at wall and rethink everything' statement, I'd appreciate some help there)  
**

 **Time Travelers Pig(call it semantics if you must, but I would never let a girl get hurt just to save a pig. Mabel's just going to have to suck it up and learn she can't have everything)(I'd recommend using Steven Universes 'The Answer' as a template(or it's Aesop at least)) The ending can't be cannon! Especially if your doing a crossover!(Endings where BOTH Waddles and Wendy are saved are also okay)  
**

 **Fight Fighters(none of this band-aid solution 'hate each other in silence' stuff! I want to see an aftermath! Have Wendy find out the truth and be mad at both of them if you have to! Just do something different!**

 **Little Dipper(I would prefer you just skip this episode entirely to be honest) (Or better yet, use Steven Universes 'Too short to Ride' episode as a template)(But if you do, do this episode...skip the 'twins idiotically Argue over the crystal instead of saving themselves and their home from Gideon' Scene. Have Dipper punch out Mabel and use the crystal. Or have Mabel punch out Dipper to use the crystal! Just do something different! Especially if it's Crossover! In that case have someone else punch them and use the crystal!)Considering what Dipper just sacrificed for Mable in Time travelers pig...I've always felt that Mable was more then a bit ungrateful and mean in this episode...  
**

 **Boyz Crazy(I actually have no problem with the ending here believe it or not, but I was annoyed that it was rendered somewhat meaningless since there was no aftermath(between Dipper and Wendy anyway). So...you know...go do your thing. I would recommend using Steven universes 'week of Sardonyx' Arc as a template)**

 **Into the Bunker((take a deep breath)look, you can handle the shipping however you want. But you have to have Mabel equally punished for the trouble(it is her fault they were locked in there in the first place after all). (Preferably where Wendy and Dipper are mad at Mabel and refuse to forgive her.)(their also needs to be an aftermath, Dipper having an honest, real conversation with Wendy about how he still has feelings for her and where they go from here. I'd recommend using Steven Universe episodes 'Mr Greg' or 'we need to talk' as templates)(also please just skip 'Roadside attraction' entirely, please)(if your doing a crossover, and bring someone else down there with them, you have to have them stop Mabel from locking Dipper up!  
**

 **Northwest mansion Noir:(Groan) so much wasted potential. Pacifica's parents just forgive her? Nothing comes from the shipping? Pacifica was nearly killed by Wendy's ancestor, and nothing comes from that?)(P.S. I'm aware that a lot of people have actually fixed that in their fics(for which I'm grateful), I just feel that it needs to be said)**

 **Mabel and Dipper v.s. the future(you do what you want with this...just don't make things so ridiculously one-sided and place all the blame on Dipper as it did in cannon(also, Dipper has to find out about Mabel's deal with Bill))**

 **Tertiary objective:**

 **Dipper V.S. Manliness: I always thought it weird that their was no girl(be it Wendy, pacifica, Tambry, or candy, etc) during his 'man trials'. Whether to beat him at being a 'man', laugh at his loincloth(or if he loses said loincloth, make him embarrassed), be inadvertently a crucial part of his 'trial', or just along for the ride...I just think it's a story possibility that should be explored is all... I also feel that Stan's hypocrisy for badmouthing ABBA while he himself watches 'The Duchess Approves' should be explored...as well as Dipper getting mad at Mable ridiculing him after everything he's done for her,  
**

 **Carpet Diem: It always bugged me that nobody cared about Dippers leg getting chewed off by a wolf, A woodpecker biting out his tongue, or his personal belongings getting vandalized...Don't just slap a band-aid solution 'Status-Quo' approved ending on it...make Dipper mad at Mabel for putting him through all that! Have it be a long messy fight! If you make them reconcile...they BOTH have to earn it!(especially Mable)  
**

 **Summerween: Why is it so horrible for Dipper to want to celebrate Halloween his own way? True, he shouldn't of lied, but slanting the episode to put him completely in the wrong for wanting to have fun his own way...was completely unnecessary! Pleas make this episode more balanced**

 **Dreamscape: For the most part I have no complaints about the episode, but it needs to be at least addressed that Stan only 'toughens' up Dipper while letting Mable do whatever she wants. Also, could someone PLEASE tackle Gideon when he's gloating about the Deed in front of the Pines?**

 **Soos and the real girl(I don't get why Melody should have to leave, I'd rather prefer she stayed and have a sub-plot going with Soos)**

 **Blendin's Game(I mostly had no problem with this...but it always bugged me that no one did anything with the 'young Wendy thinks Dipper is cute' storyline...some assistance here would be most appreciated)(I'd also like to see Wendy's reaction to that)  
**

 **Tale of two Stans:(I'm with my fellow fanficton writers. Their should have at least been a small rift popping up between Mabel and Dipper after Mabel trusted Stan over Dipper(Especially considering she prevented Ford from killing Bill!))**

 **Stanchurian Candidate: I feel it was rather selfish for Stan to put his pride over the safety of his family, when they reveal the mind-control to him and he gets mad, lay it on home how he's being selfish and seemingly uncaring about his family!**

 **The last MabelCorn:** **I feel it was rather selfish for Mable to put her needs over the safety of her family, you can keep the 'Unicorns are selfish jerks' revelation if you want, but also lay it on home how she's being selfish and seemingly uncaring about her family!**

 **Roadside Attraction:(Recommended by Emma Iveli) If you MUST do this episode, Mable has to give Dipper more advice then just 'move on'(seriously, it's a bit weird she didn't help him more with this considering how much she loves matchmaking and knows better then anyone else how socially awkward Dipper is) And she and Grunkle Stan need to get into a big argument over who's advice is more valid. (pointing out the hypocrisy of Mable badmouthing flirting with multiple people, when she dose the same would be funny)  
**

 **Weirdmagedon: (can't think of anything...save for wanting to see a fic. where Ford's Bill-Killing Gun actually works...and Maybe some more character development/bonding between Dipper Wendy...and possibly Pacifica)(Oh, having Wendy comfort Dipper over his 'You can't make someone fall in love, you can only be worthy of love' speech would be nice too)  
**

 **Escape from Reality: JUST BURST THE BUBBLE! Especially if it's a crossover! A 22 minute story wrapped up in 5 minutes! Mabel can just deal with it!(it would also be nice if Wendy, Pacifica, or SOMEONE comforted Dipper about not getting any Valentines, also it be nice if someone reminded Wendy and Soos that their friends and family are suffering and they need to rescue them before they go gallivanting in the bubble).  
**

 **Take Back the Falls: If your doing a crossover, you HAVE to have someone from the Crossover-verse SUCCESSFULLY stop Stan from breaking the circle. By threatening him with death or dismemberment if necessary!**

 **EX: Ford: "Him and I...Grammar Stanley"**

 **Stan is about to beat him...when he feels cold steel pressed against his back**

 **Undyne: "YOU %$ #% one foot from where you are, I'll #% &$%$ kill you!"**

 **Stan gulps nervously...but stays in his place...and the cipher is complete...**

 **NOTE: to all Wendip and Dipifica fans alike...have you considered just making a water proof Tyrone and giving him to Pacifica while Dipper has Wendy? You could literally have your cake and eat it too!**

 **ANOTHER note: crossovers with gravity Falls in this challenge are accepted and encouraged! Let your imagination run wild!(But ONLY as long as you don't have the people from said crossover-verse sitting around useless and not letting them change the plot(let the above 'stop Stan from ruining the circle' be your template for ANY other moments in Gravity falls Cannon)**

 **And one more thing...I'm well aware that this might not be some people's cup of tea...so if you want to adopt ANY of my stories...or give them to a friend/acquaintance. That's fine.**

 **This dose NOT mean I'm discontinuing my stories, I'm just trying to give you more options. I will also allow multiple adoptions, so more then one person can enjoy this!**

 **Well, that's more or less it, good hunting YAH'll!**

 **P.S. just a heads up; I'm finally moving into my own place come Christmas/new years...the place is nice, affordable rent, geographically Convenient, free wi-fi...the only downside is I have to wait THREE MONTHS to get said internet set up, it'll be top quality and FREE...but I have to wait at LEAST that long for it.**

 **A friend of mine said he could get a 'hotspot' set up...but who knows what will happen there.**

 **Bottom Line: If my updates online drop off for a couple months or I won't answer your Messages...that's probably why.**

 **But regardless; merry Christmas and a happy new year!**


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